Phase III

So far no results yet from my marketing blitz, but I didn’t really expect anything to happen so quickly.

My next step is to try to pitch some story ideas to magazines I’ve worked with in the past. This might be where some previously unpublished pieces finally find a home, although it will take a little work to get them into magazine shape. That should keep me busy for a while.

Not Taking No for an Answer

Phase II will involve trying anew to get articles published. I keep lists of every publication I’ve offered every piece to, and periodically I go back over those lists and try to think of papers that might be a better fit. Today I tried sending some China articles to various newspapers. I can’t believe no one’s taken my Great Wall of China article. If they don’t want it this summer, they never will, so I was pretty aggressive about sending it around. Some editors may not be seeing the Great Wall piece for the first time, but my feeling is that if you don’t ask me to cut it out, I can keep offering it. (And I will keep this up as long as editors persist in ignoring submissions completely.) As always, we’ll see how my campaign goes.

Getting Resourceful

Part of writing is marketing, and on Friday I went on a big marketing push. I’m trying to find homes for pieces I’ve already written and that either never got published or still seem to have some life in them.

Phase I of this push involved me unloading a number of stories on the Travelers’ Tales web site. They offer a number of avenues for allowing travel pieces to see the light of day. They publish anthologies, which is the real goal, and they also post stories on the Travelers’ Tales web site, which would be nice, too. In addition, they run a contest every year called the Solas awards. Awards are given in a lot of different categories, including Women’s Travel, Bad Trip, Travel and Food, and the intriguing Animal Encounter category. I’m not holding my breath, mostly because the awards aren’t announced until spring, but I remain hopeful.

Overcoming Inertia

On Friday I was tempted to clean up my Thursday gay marriage blog posting and send it out for publication.

But I was also tempted to take a walk, go pick up a book I ordered in San Francisco, and/or watch Ellen DeGeneres announce her engagement to Portia DiRossi on TV.

Early in the afternoon I got a sweet email from my father, who had seen the posting and urged me to try to get it published. This made me realize that I needed to wait until Friday evening for my weekend to begin just like everyone else. I spent the afternoon polishing the piece, giving it a real introduction and tightening up the writing. (And correcting a misspelling Pipi found. That was embarrassing.) I sent it to the San Francisco Chronicle, the Christian Science Monitor, and the Advocate.

That may seem like an unlikely lineup ("One of these things is not like the other….”), but the Christian Science Monitor did publish me once before. They run an essay every day, and their web site says they welcome differing points of view, so I took them at their word.

The Christian Science Monitor got back to me very quickly. The editor said the piece was a little too topical for the Home Forum. I don’t think she meant this euphemistically because she offered to personally forward it to the Op-Ed person—which she did. I got a similar response from the Chronicle—my story is now with the Insight section editor there.

No word yet from either of these new editors, or from the Advocate. As always, I will keep you posted. And I’ll keep trying other publications as well.

Mouthpiece

I got a mouth in the mail today. I think I’m about half-way toward a complete Mr. Potato head now. I’ve got: eyes, ears, a mouth, and one arm. I think I just need the other arm, a nose, and feet. And an explanation for all of this.

The Horror

Today I got two plastic eyeballs in the mail. There was a press release with them that had a headline about how this new Toy Story ride is going to be “eye-popping.”

There’s always some kind of connection between the press release and the enclosed body part, which does not, in my opinion, make it any less morbid.

The interesting thing is that each of the three boxes I’ve gotten shows evidence of having been opened roughly. But no one ever takes the pieces. Which goes to show that even mail thieves don’t want any part of this P.R. campaign.

Make it Stop

I got another box from Disney today. It had a little plastic arm in it. Just one. The right one, I think. I’m not kidding. This is really getting creepy.

Bad Publicity

I used to write about Disney a lot when I worked at Travelocity. I enjoyed that for the most part, especially since I got to travel to the parks sometimes. I went to Disney World twice, Disneyland once, and Even Disneyland Paris on one surreal occasion.

Because of this relationship, Disney kept me on their mailing list even after I started freelancing. So I’m used to getting press releases, photos, and, every Christmas, a calendar in the mail from them.

None of this prepared me for this afternoon when I opened up a cardboard box about the size of a desk calendar, mailed from Orlando. (In April? Funny.) What was inside, though, wasn’t a calendar. It was a press release about a Toy Story-themed ride that will be opening soon at one of the parks….and a pair of disembodied Mr. Potato Head ears.

This really disturbed me. It looked like something the Mafia would do, or a serial-killer trophy. Why just the ears? Is there a deaf little Mr. Potato Head somewhere being tortured for my benefit? (“And if you don’t pay up, lady, we’ll stick his mouth on upside down!”) It doesn’t make sense and I want it to stop. I don’t want any trouble. I just want Mr. Potato Head to come home safely.